Many of you know that I experienced sudden autoimmune-related hearing loss in my left ear in June. This required high-dose prednisone, with the initial promise of a rapid taper. The side effects were frustrating, but tolerable. Yet, unfortunately, I will be on these much longer than I initially expected.
The insomnia is taking its toll. I have headaches and mild gait imbalance. I feel hot and jittery and have had episodes of rapid heart rate. Attempts at weaning steroids have triggered joint pains. I have more tests pending to determine what path to follow next.
In short, I’m not going to be off of prednisone anytime soon.
We must protect our thoughts at times like this. We feel lousy, but we must stay focused on positive truths and get rest while we can. We cannot allow our heads to be stuck in a negative thought spiral. I remain a big fan of Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Sometimes I try to find something to fit in every category.
True— God is with me regardless of the outcome
Noble— my husband’s love for me, and his attention to my needs
Right— this treatment is a reasonable path, confirmed by human experts and artificial intelligence
Pure– lots of people are praying for me
Lovely– I have such wonderful friends and patients who care for me
Excellent– I’m still able to work despite this misery
Admirable– my work has been very accommodating to my test and treatment schedules
Praiseworthy– God remains King!
We all have seasons where things are not rosy. It can wear us down as time goes by. I am learning to suffer in some of the ways my patients suffer, and I am learning more empathy through this process. Many still are suffering far worse than me.
God did not take Paul’s thorn away, and he may not fully take away mine. We are to be faithful despite the struggle, and use misery as a path towards knowing God more closely.
If you are going through some misery today, know that you are not alone. God is in that moment with you, and he will sustain you until the day he calls you home.
Thanks for being open and vulnerable about the storm you are dealing with. My own health problems and depression have definitely brought me closer to God. What a blessing to have so many devotional and Biblical resources at our fingertips. The prayers of our friends and family are so powerful. I’m praying for you, my dear friend.